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Dealing with health anxiety when you have a chronic illness

January 8, 2020mental health
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Something I’ve struggled with for a long time is health anxiety. I am constantly paranoid that I’m dying or that there’s something wrong with me. A headache automatically leads me to think I have a tumour, I hit my head and I have a brain bleed, indigestion is a heart attack.

The major problem I have is that even though I can sit myself down and tell myself rationally, it is unlikely to be any of these things, there’s always that niggling part of me which remembers the time I correctly diagnosed myself with inflammatory bowel disease.

What is health anxiety

Google defines health anxiety as :

Health anxiety is an obsessive and irrational worry about having a serious medical condition. It’s also called illness anxiety, and was formerly called hypochondria. This condition is marked by a person’s imagination of physical symptoms of illness.

HealthLine

Do you know what I don’t like about this definition? It’s the fact that it’s “marked by a person’s imagination of physical symptoms”

I dislike this because they’re not always imagined. It makes it sound like you’re making it up for attention. But it feels so real. The fear is real and it’s not an attention-seeking thing at all.

Also, when you’re actually living with a chronic illness, it can be so hard to distinguish what pain is. When you’re constantly in pain and don’t have a diagnosis, it feels like it could literally be anything. Let me tell you, that is terrifying and panic-inducing.

What does health anxiety feel like

I’ll be honest, I’ve really been struggling with my anxiety recently. I’ve been suffering with lots of different aches and pains, something I’m used to living with a chronic illness.

I can’t switch my brain off. There’s that constant, underlying worry which tells me that I’m dying or seriously ill. It reminds me of the time the doctors got it wrong so you can’t trust what they say. It puts me in a constant state of panic.

Even when that voice in my head isn’t at the forefront, I still have that overwhelming state of panic.

I try to journal, especially when I feel like this. It helps me explain it to people better. The phrase which I kept going back to the other day was – “it’s not likely, but it’s possible”

I try to quieten that voice but there’s always that niggling. That what if. And it drives me crazy.

Some resources if you’re struggling

For this post, I have no advice. It’s something I’m still trying to work out myself but I always find it easier when I write how I’m feeling. So I wanted to find some resources to help us all and this is what I found!

  • Anxiety UK
  • NHS website
  • American Association of Anxiety & depression
  • BetterHelp (online counselling)

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