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Dating is a minefield. Dating with an invisible or visible disability is even bigger minefield.
When do you tell your date about your health condition? How do you tell them? What if they react in a less than nice way? What if you’re ill before the date? They’re the added worries to an already nervous situation.
Being a single disabled person can be daunting, but it’s just as daunting as if you’re not disabled.
I’ve always felt that my chronic illnesses are a good buffer for people. If a guy is weirded out by it, they weren’t the right person anyways. So whether you decide to try dating the old fashioned way or online dating (which seems the only way during a pandemic). Online dating can be mainstream dating apps or there’s the option to use niche dating sites like amputee dating app or invisible disability dating apps.
Knowing when to tell your date about your chronic illness
There’s no right way to tell someone about your health conditions. You have to do what’s right for you. I usually say on the first date, sometimes it’s come up in conversation beforehand and sometimes, I’ve not said anything (and the date fizzled out).
I always think you have to trust your gut on it – which feels ironic when I have no gut!
Because I have my blog and social media where I talk about my health, and it’s part of my job, it comes up quite naturally and I’m very open about it.
However, if you’re not as confident talking about your health, wait until you feel like you can tell the person. If that’s on a first date, amazing. If it’s a third or fourth, that’s equally as great.
You should never be made to feel less than because of your disability. If someone is mean or dismissive, and makes you feel bad because of it, that’s on them and not you.
Like I said, I use my stoma bag as a way to see if someone’s a decent person. And 9.5 times out of 10, every guy I’ve told about my bag has been unbothered by it.
However you choose to meet someone, eventually you’re going to go on some dates. So whether you’re just starting dating someone, or wanting some date night ideas, here are 5 chronic illness friendly date night (and day) ideas for you…
Date night (and day) ideas for when you have a chronic illness
Museum & Gallery Dates
When we’re kids, the thought of gallery’s and museums can bore us, but as I’ve grown up they’ve become a lot more fun and interesting.
Find something which interests you both and explore for the day. As someone with IBD, I like museums and gallery’s because you always know there’s a toilet nearby! And if fatigue is something you struggle with, there’s always plenty of places to sit.
Theatre night
Theatre trips are something I really enjoy. You have a natural talking point, there’s usually good disability access and even if the dates a bit of a no-go, you can say you had a good time regardless. (you’ve always got to look at the positives in dating!)
Coffee Dates
Some people say coffee dates are boring but I’m here to say no to that. As a coffee lover, there’s nothing better than spending the day coffee shop hopping, plus you can actually talk and get to know the person.
Homemade meal & movie night
Sometimes, going out is just too much. If fatigue is hitting but you want to do something special with the person you’re seeing, a homemade date can be perfect. Have a homemade meal (or takeout!), pick a film each and relax in your own home.
Daytime dates
I’m a fan of the daytime date for many reasons. They can feel more of an adventure together and I’m generally more awake. Come 7pm, fatigue usually hits and I can struggle to string a sentence together if I’m in a flare up, let alone try and be the best version of me!
I hope this post has been helpful for you. If you’re wanting more disabled dating tips, this YouTube channel might be useful for you.
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